Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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