She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
