My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
