I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize