I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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