It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize