I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize