Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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