i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
