I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
