Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
