Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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