Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
