I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize