im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
There's even glitter on my cock...
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