No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
