hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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