i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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