If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
