She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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