He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your cock deserves a montage
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need to calm my uterus...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
