my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
