She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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