This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
