the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
