Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
