Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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