My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
