shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
