Sry I called you an 8
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize