Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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