But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
