At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
