I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
