I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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