Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just pee around me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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