And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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