Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
