everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
