i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize