he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
