Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
