So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
