I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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