The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I stole a fireplace last night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize