just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
