How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
