Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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