I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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