In the future we'll all be gay
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
