a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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