actually, I'm a sock model
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize