They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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