Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
