yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
