I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
