I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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