no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize