p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
