Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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