I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
kristin has been a bad kristin
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
