Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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