Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I party with great urgency now.
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