Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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