Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
