Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
