Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
