Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize