dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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